Sunday 12 October 2008

Loneliness in Barrow

I did some reading of my own blog earlier, looking at past pages of my journal entry since last year. Its been a year and a month now in UK. I guess I really enjoy myself here, I thank 神 (GOD) for providing and blessing me all this while. Looking back, I lost someone I truly love. After 3 years of courtship, I never thought a relationship can end so quickly. It was last year when this happened. Long time ago but I can't help thinking about it sometimes, especially when I look back at my previous entry in this blog. So much happy moments not to forget. However, I must say the feeling is no longer there now, although it hurts so much then. I remember nights when I woke up feeling all sad and down. Ashamed of myself as tears flow but yet I can't show this emotion to her as I am not letting my guards down. I can't show her how I feel inside, not letting her know that I still have feeling for her. We broke up for some reason...reasons which I prefer not to reveal. No one is to be blame for this. The main thing is this broke up taught me something...

It was during these time, I was comforted by (His)words. God really work in miraculous ways, He showed me the way when I was down and depressed. He gave me wonderful brothers and sisters who reflected His love. I felt so much at home when I joined City Fellowship. Eventhough majority of it's members are students, I can't help but feel so much at home. It is a place where I felt free, not having to disguise myself and act cool. I can even show my weaknesses without fear of embarassment. I am myself.

I also thank God for my sister Karen who has always been supportive and ready to lend her ears when I need someone to talk to. I never get to share this deep hurtful feeling then with any one else...my sister is the one who was with me, standing by my side as I pray for the feeling to die off...I will never forget what God has provided when I need it most. He is GREAT and MIGHTY. Let us be faithful and follow his ways...as he guide us in our daily life, never stop reading his Words in the bible! I hope this sharing (which I never share before in public) helps people who are lonely and depressed to turn back to God and let Him guide us. "I was once lost, but am found"

No comments: